letters from dad

For fathers with daughters from TIME Magazine.

I wonder what I would write to them given the chance.

Maybe soon. 

time, move slowly

The girls are growing very fast.  Where's the slowdown button?

Laughter is not the best medicine for Filipinos.

Acceptance and Self-direction is.


Allow me to speak from a pedestal this time, but a pedestal surrounded by mirrors.  This is also a tribute to those makahiya at balat-sibuyas participants in my seminars who are offended by my candor and my wit.  It is not my aim to please you with this, but to have a construct that will hopefully improve our future dealings.

We Filipinos are known to laugh at adversity.  It is a positive initial reaction to a problem or situation.  Optimism can lead to hope and assurance that no matter how hard a situation is, we shall overcome it.  We are resilient.  We are known in the world as a happy bunch who live in a hazardous environment and a chaotic political landscape.

The problem with laughing is, well, laughing some more or laughing it off.  Once we experience euphoria (that happy, joy, joy, feeling) we think our problems are solved and move on with our lives. While euphoria can combat depression, despair, and anxiety, it may give us a false sense of peace or tranquility.

What's worse is if the problem lies in ourselves, if we are the cause of the problem.  Merely laughing or shrugging it off becomes then a form of escapism and escapism is a Filipino trait: alcohol, videoke, shopping, drugs, chismis about showbiz, chismis about everyone else, and worrying about stuff in our circles of concern.

The problem with unresolved problems or issues is that they are never resolved (I am being redundant here).

These unresolved issues grow like ingrown toenails that cause revolting pain at the slightest touch.  Stop.  Think of your experience with ingrown toenails...

Unless you pluck them out or ask someone (preferably with medical background) to remove them, the wound festers.  Same thing with unresolved issues that are not accepted or confronted head-on.

Ever wondered why the Filipino easily takes offense?  Remember the issue with Dan Brown and Chairman Tolentino?

We are a sensitive folk because we do not face the issues.  Everything can be a joke.  It's more fun here!

When someone from the outside criticizes us, we cry foul.  But have we ever bothered to look deep inside ourselves?  Why are we uber-sensitive?  I thought we were a shiny, happy, people?

We can laugh.  We are good at it.  But we must also own up to our shortcomings and make the resolve to be better.  If not we will remain to be oversensitive and reactionary and be laughed at by the world.  Ever wondered why nobody seems to take us seriously?  Maybe we need to solve the problem that lies in ourselves.

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."  by Cassius in Julius Caesar, Act 1.2

Away on Official Business or Did you miss me?

Been training like crazy... I would like to thank all the participants, organizers, and administrators, those who listen, who texted while listening, who texted but didn't listen, who registered but left midway, who stayed behind, who asked questions, who had questions but didn't raise them, who applauded, who didn't applaud, who laughed, who cried, who took offense, who understood, who forgave, who forgot, who attended this year, who attended last year, who attended several sessions, who congratulated, who expressed appreciation, who took pictures, who asked me for a photo-op, who asked for signatures, who asked for contact details, who complained, who didn't complain, and who wondered when it will all end.

I will still not run for public office.  Will conduct trainings instead.

Have to go and prepare for the next session(s).  See you.

riding in tandem

you, yes you, the two of you,
aren't you getting tired of being labelled with anonymity?
shouldn't you claim infamy just like those murderers
who made martyrs out of ordinary folk
and made orphans, widows, widowers,
sad lovers, nostalgic friends, and headless organizations
multiply their grief and conviction that justice is late
and can't be served in a country where hired killers
roam freely and could be those two guys
next to us at a stoplight?

do you wear helmets, bonnets, caps, leather jackets,
and denim jeans as standard issue or fashion statement?
we all have seen what you wore,
we all know your choice of clothing, a cliche
just like in the movies
where the police wear white towels around their heads,
where stuntmen jump right before an explosion
and where cars tumble and turn after a chase
in a freeway with very few cars as if it were a holiday
or holy week.

but this is reality.
you could shoot down someone in brightest day
and walk or stroll without any urgency,
start your motorcycle and ride away
and vanish into the horizon
avoiding checkpoints or evading roadblocks
where the police have no clue and say
"but we're sure they were two."

before, "in tandem" had with it attached, a sense of unity
and cooperation, of friends smiling on bicycles
of pairs singing, dancing, juggling
now "in tandem" has only one meaning:
men or women, we can never be certain
what's inside that helmet only the objective
of snuffing someone out for P5,000.00 bucks a pop
or a little more, I heard that's how much it costs nowadays
to deny someone from existing by exiting this life
through your trigger.

so will you two please be original for once
and reveal your true identities to us.
have some dignity by declaring to the world:
"we killed someone's father, mother, son, daughter,
and we're as famous as bonnie and clyde,
butch cassidy and the sundance kid,
the james brothers, or any famous partners in crime."
give us your names so we can make you known
just like serial killers or mass murderers.
give us your names so we can direct all the anger,
our curses, and our pain.
tell us so you do not become like
others, the faceless, nameless many who hide
behind shadows of anonymity. we want to distinguish you
from others riding in tandem.

if you think you have the right to own someone else's
life then those of us who were victimized
have the right to call you out the murderer that you are.